Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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