people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
