There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
