I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
