Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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