there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
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