something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
Randomize
