Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
He kissed a someone with a penis
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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