It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
