We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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