I hate your face
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Randomize
