What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
