This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
