I'm drive I can fine osifer
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
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