is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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