you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
