So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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