so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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