As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
