dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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