Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
