i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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