We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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