She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
How was your sisters wedding?
Oh, I didn't go. I slept through my alarm. I finally woke up and was like...I don't think so.
sisterhood ftl.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
