So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
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