Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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