Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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