We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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