BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize
