All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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