She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
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