just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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