she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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