It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize