Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Bang-toberfest begins!!
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
