i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
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