none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
