Do vagina's smell?
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
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