I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
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