Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
There are leaves in my underwear?
Randomize
