i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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