WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
