apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize