I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
Randomize
