Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize
