I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
You're a waste of cheezeits
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
