Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
