After last night, I could never be a politician.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
