I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
