Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
whose parrot is this?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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