sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
Randomize
