New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
We are all done wearing pants today
Randomize
