Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
stop calling my apartment porn island.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize