Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
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