This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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