Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize