North Korea, Best Korea!
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
