I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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