omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I think weed is turning my hair brown
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
