"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Randomize
