Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
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