I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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